Resources For Parents & Caregivers

Quick Answer

For many of parents, the dating world our kids navigate might feel quite different from what we experienced. Understanding today’s adolescent dating landscape is really important, as research shows early dating experiences significantly shape future relationships and emotional wellbeing. By getting a clearer picture of dating norms, we can better prepare our young people to navigate these experiences safely.

Adolescent dating refers to mutually acknowledged romantic relationships between young people, typically during the teenage years. These relationships can involve emotional closeness, companionship, and, for some, sexual involvement.

Additional Resources

• Learn more about adolescent dating: https://www.verywellfamily.com/five-truths-teens-and-dating-2611146
• Video where adolescents talk about healthy relationships:

Quick Answer

Adolescent dating violence (ADV) is a serious issue that can have lasting impacts on young people’s wellbeing. Understanding how common and complex ADV is helps us take the first crucial steps towards preventing it and supporting those affected.

Adolescent dating violence (or teen/youth dating violence) happens when one person abuses power to control, threaten, manipulate, or be aggressive to another in a romantic relationship.

In Canada, 1 in 3 high school students experience dating abuse.¹ Adolescent dating violence can have long-lasting consequences, including depression, suicidality, substance misuse, and anxiety. Youth who experience adolescent dating violence are at greater risk of experiencing adult domestic violence. This is why prevention is key.

Additional Resources

• Learn more about adolescent dating violence:
  •  https://www.prevnet.ca/teen-dating-violence/
  • https://www.cdc.gov/museum/education/newsletter/2021/mar/
• The “Teen Power and Control Wheel” helps to explains the key drivers of ADV: https://safeandrespectful.org/wp-content/uploads/Teen-Power-and-Control-Wheel.pdf ²

References

¹ Exner-Cortens, D., Baker, E., & Craig, W. (2021). The National Prevalence of Adolescent Dating Violence in Canada. The Journal of adolescent health : official publication of the Society for Adolescent Medicine, 69(3), 495–502. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2021.01.032

² Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. (n.d.). Teen power and control teen wheel. National Centre on Domestic and Sexual Violence. https://www.stopfamilyviolence.pe.ca/sites/www.stopfamilyviolence.pe.ca/files/StopFamilyViolence_2020/css_teenwheel2.pdf

Quick Answer

As parents, we play a vital role in preventing adolescent dating violence (ADV) before it starts. Research shows that our involvement, open conversations, and promoting healthy relationships skills at home can help protect young people from ADV.  Teaching skills like assertive communication, conflict resolution, and boundary-setting are key for preventing ADV. Many factors in our society create the conditions that lead to ADV, but parents can significantly help create safer environments for young people.

ConnectED Parents Tip:

Model healthy relationships to foster healthy relationships skills in our children.

Access more tips over at our Instagram @connected_parents_canada

Additional Resources

• Learn more about a holistic, broad approach to violence prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/violence-prevention/about/index.html

Quick Answer

It’s important for young people to understand the full range of relationships – from healthy to unhealthy and abusive. This understanding helps them make safer choices. Evidence suggests that children and youth who can identify characteristics of healthy relationships are better at forming positive connections and recognizing warning signs of adolescent dating violence.

Generally, in healthy relationships, both partners are communicating, respectful, trusting, honest, equal, and making mutual choices. In unhealthy relationships, partners may be disrespectful and dishonest. Abuse is occurring when someone is communicating in a hurtful or threatening way, controlling, and isolating their partner from others.

ConnectED Parents Tip:

Talking about abuse is not easy, but you can start by talking to your children about the benefits of healthy relationships.

Access more tips over at our Instagram @connected_parents_canada

Additional Resources

• Learn more about the spectrum of relationships: https://www.loveisrespect.org/everyone-deserves-a-healthy-relationship/relationship-spectrum/

Quick Answer

Assertive communication is a life skill that is crucial for healthy interactions and preventing harm in relationships.

• Assertive communication is expressing our thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly, directly, and respectfully.
• Assertive communication is different from passive communication, where we don't express our feelings or needs and prioritize others' needs over our own.
• Assertive communication is also different from aggressive communication, where we ignore others' feelings and focus on winning the argument.
• When parents have assertive communication skills themselves, they are modeling this skill for their children, which is key to helping our children learn this skill too.

ConnectED Parents Tip:

Learn and teach assertive communication - it's key to helping your child build and maintain healthy relationships.

Access more tips over at our Instagram @connected_parents_canada

Quick Answer

Conflict is very normal in relationships and we all have different feelings it! Some of us might try to avoid conflict at all costs, and others might be very comfortable with it. This likely has something to do with how we saw conflict play out in our families. Research shows that children who learn how to navigate through conflict constructively are better equipped to express their perspectives, understand others’ viewpoints, and foster healthier relationships.

• Conflict resolution usually involves moving through a disagreement or argument towards a solution that everyone can agree to.
• Conflict differs from abuse. For example, abuse can involve degrading or humiliating comments, or fear of retaliation, or harm when someone expresses their thoughts or feelings.

ConnectED Parents Tip:

Learn and teach the steps for conflict resolution so your child can work through relationship challenges.

Access more tips over at our Instagram @connected_parents_canada

Additional Resources

• Learn more about conflict through this video:

Quick Answer

Boundary-setting is a fundamental part of healthy relationships, allowing individuals to define and communicate their needs, limits, and expectations.

• Boundary-setting can be described as communicating about the things that help us to protect and nurture our own needs, wants, desires and abilities. This also helps us respect these things for others.
• There are all kinds of different boundaries. For example, time boundaries might involve communicating about how often a teen wants to hang out with a crush or friend. Emotional boundaries might involve how comfortable each person is saying "I love you" in a relationship. Digital boundaries could be something like, "I don't respond to texts or messages after 10pm."

ConnectED Parents Tip: 

Learn and teach the Head, Heart, Body technique to help our children identify their own boundaries.

Access more tips over at our Instagram @connected_parents_canada

Additional Resources

• Review an example of a boundary-setting tool: https://www.centreforsexuality.ca/learning-centre/am-i-ready-for-sex/

Quick Answer

Spotting the signs of adolescent dating violence (ADV) early is crucial for ensuring the safety and wellbeing of young people. As parents, staying educated on ADV warning signs can help us respond effectively and guide our children toward healthier relationships and away from harmful ones.

Here is an informative resource on the signs of ADV: https://www.prevnet.ca/teen-dating-violence/signs-of-dating-violence/

Quick Answer

When our children are experiencing or using dating violence behaviours, how parents respond matters. Learn about research-backed ways to address ADV: https://www.prevnet.ca/teen-dating-violence/for-parents-and-caregivers/when-violence-is-disclosed/

Quick Answer

A strong parent-child relationship built on trust and open communication can protect against adolescent dating violence (ADV). When children feel connected to and understood by their parents, they are more likely to seek guidance and share concerns.

Practicing active listening, a core communication skill, strengthens relational bonds and creates a safe space for discussing sensitive topics like healthy relationships.

Additional Resources

• Learn more about active listening for parents: https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/communicating-relationships/communicating/active-listening

Stay tuned! We will share resources and tools soon.

Quick Answer

If you want support, there are many services locally and nationwide. Here is list that we have compiled: https://preventdomesticviolence.ca/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Resources-for-ConnectED-Parents-Participants.pdf